Memories of the Past

A mongrel walks politely
Through the warm summer streets
An echo of an older time
He sits and begins to eat-
He dreams of days long gone
A day once left for him
He sees the ancient photographs
Of the way things used to be.

And in the daze of morning
Beneath a cup of joe,
He sits silenty atop the mountain
Of aging dreams and snow.
A morning breathe of nicotene,
Strapped firmly to a chair
Sits and wonders patiently,
Why should he even care?
To breathe in this new world
Full of materialistic gold
The sons and daughters of the whole
Now just stories for the old.

Beneath the ancient sea,
Of a tempest on the coast,
He can feel the warm breeze whisper
Dreaming of the most
Precious thing hes ever seen
His angel from above
The one who once held him close
And showered him with love.

But now he sleeps alone,
A shadow of his past,
He sips his morning coffee,
Praying that his dreams will last.

Beneath the summer sweat,
That drips carelessly from his brow,
A single tear hides elegantly,
Pain and fear may never show.
To hide from futures bringings,
What may be just around the bend,
An echo of a simpler time,
Is clearly at its end.

Another Rainy Day

My eyes are calling out for a new love
One to come and take the pain away
My heart is searching for a a new love
To save me from this reocurring rainy day.

Water splashes as we run through puddles
Hand in hand, we glide along, through it all
Across the grass and through the mud
A quick step, a light slip, and we fall.

Rolling around in the mud, lauging at passing cars-
Water running down your cheeks, I cant help but stare
And feel complete; within your eyes so pure-
They hold my heart so high, if only for a moment,
I begin to wonder why, why do you love me
Why are you here? What is it about me,
That keeps you staying near?

And then I remember, the way the curtain fell
And how you left me here all alone, living in this hell
And each and every morning, I awoke but felt alone-
I am cold and lonely, broken, pain streaming through my bones.

My eyes are weak, my stare is strong, together they fight,
To keep me moving on, but as I see you standing there
As I watch him playing with what was once My hair-
I realize that I've lost it all, though I may never know why,
And so all I can do now, is sit alone and stare,
Out that pale white window, that hides me from the rain.

The End

Finally, I’ve found a window, leading out to the morning light. The sunlight shining through blinds me, my eyes squinting in the beautiful mixture of light and dark, and that perplexing line of balance where they meet. The window for which I reached held only broken pieces of glass and a ruined frame.

Peering out through the window, I could see an open field, once green but now filled with charred ruins and ash. The trees, plants, even birds, are all gone, leveled in catastrophe.

Attempting to stand, I felt the wounding blast of fire run through my legs and up my back; I fall. I catch my fall with my hands, but not without consequence. The place in which my hand landed left an open wound from an old rusty nail. No worry of tetanus now, just the soothing pain of transference, as now my leg feels numb balanced by the rust stained hole across my palm.

My body groans as I crawl along the cold wooden boards that make up this rackety excuse for a floor- splinters piercing through my flesh one after another as I pull across the ground to the window. I can see the sun shining through, the bright beautiful morning just inches from my reach- and yet it feels as if it could take a life time to reach my destination.

Barely able to hold myself up, I softly peer over the top of the window sill, my legs dangling like tree branches beneath me. My eyes burn once more as the light reaches my dark enshrouded eyes.

Above me, I notice a small rope dangling ever so loosely over my head, and so, I reach for it. A slight tug, and yes, the rope is secure enough to hold me. I pull with all my might upon the rope, burning my hands with the heated friction as I pull strenuously to lift myself high enough to get a good view outside.

Another painful tug and; I made it, my legs bent like wooden posts keeping me afloat, I can finally see clearly. Looking about, I notice small bits of dust floating slowly to the ground. Cautiously, I look up, only to be blinded by a giant cloud of Black.

And then, just as quickly as it came, it was gone. And I felt nothing.

One Last Time-

I knew what I had done as soon as the door closed. A single tear fell from my eye as I reached into my pocket to pull out a small razor blade; just about the size of your thumb. As I smeared the razor between my fingers, making sure not to remove any of the existing blood; I could feel my heart finally begin to regulate.
Then I heard a creek come from down the stairs, it sounded like the front door opened. I quickly ran into the bathroom to grab a few peices of toilet paper to lay across my arm to keep any drip from falling down.
"Denim! Are you home? It's Dad." I could hear my Dad yelling from down below, as he took off his shoes. "If your here, come down, I want to talk to you."
"One minute! Just putting on a new shirt." Well I was putting on a new shirt, but that was only because the old one was covered in a red crust that I could not possibly hide.
And so I calmly went down the stairs, my hands and arms behind my back, my arm quivering from the friction of cloth against my newly made wounds.
"Are you feeling OK?" My dad inquired, curious of my random squirms.
"Oh, just fine, I replied" Unsure of how to answer.
"You dont look so well. Maybe I'm just tired."
"I'm sure thats it, Dad."
"Well, anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your grandmother went into the hospital, grandpa found her at 4am this morning of the ground convulsing. I guess she overdosed on Ambient or something. She hasn't woken up yet."
I stood in shock, maybe even in fear, at the news that was presented before me. I could barely withstand hearing those words again, no... not again.
"Hey Denim, whats that on your arm? Are you bleeding?"
"Oh, that" I shivered in pain, "Its nothing. Just a little cut I guess."
"We'll let me see it, I want to make sure its not infected before you put a bandaid on it."
"Oh, no, thats OK Dad, thanks anyway."
"No, please, I just want to make sure your cut wont get infected."
He took a quick jab for my arm, he missed the sleeve but rubbed hard against my wounds.
"Ouch!" I couldnt help but yell.
"Whats that? Denim! Let me see your arm right now!."
I could feel my eyes holding back a single tear as I slowly raised my sleeve to reveal the numerous cuts and slashed across my fore arm.
"Denim... explain yourself."
"I... I... I..." I didn't know what to say.
"Well... I..." Words just couldn't escape my mouth.
Finally I broke down into a waterfall of salty tears, collapsing into my fathers arms.
"I..." Sniffles, "I just couldnt stop. One, and then another, and then another... it made me feel... alive."
I can't even begin to fathom the intensity of what I said.
"Well... I..." My father was hesitant, but proceeded to speak anyway, "Is this because of grandma?"
"Well... some of it. SOme of it is because of school, and work, and... just life."
"I've been doing it for a few years now; every time I just can't figure something out; or I feel like complete shit. I do it, and I feel better... so much better."
A saw then something I never thought I would ever see in my entire life. It was like the entire spectrum of light, all condensed to the width of my father's wide eyes.
And then, without a whisper or a word, my father stood up, took a step back, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Your mother will be wondering where I am, so I better get back to the hospital to see your grandmother. If your up for it... you can come later if you like."
I just stood there, mentally deconstructed and naked in front of my father; until finally I had to speak.
"OK... I guess I'll see you later." I squeezed out my tight, exausted throat as I begged myself not to burst into tears again.
"Alright, Well... Bye."
My father turned around, walked out the door, and shut it carelessly behind him.
"Well... there's only one thing left for me here." I whispered to myself.
And so I walked back up the stairs, an evil grin upon my face, and made my way to the door that I had just recently closed; as if just to gaze upon the luminous letters painted across the door:

"And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!"

And so I opened the gateway, and looking deep into the darkness, I saw a single shimmering light... my eyes fixated upon it... I walked to it, entranced by its singular beauty.

And now, laying across this god forsaken floor, I find myself broken... frayed, alone. But not for long; for soon I will be with everything I could ever want to be.
And so I enter into the abyss... the lifeless progression of nothingness that no one could ever possibly imagine.

And into the shadow my soul shall lay,
Silently followed by Deaths cruel way-
his way I follow, for a better tomorrow,
to put a final end, to this bitter, bitter day.