Romeo's Mad World

WOOF Contest - 6/29

2009-06-30T06:11:00.001-04:00

Poetry

Zorlone – “Under the pale moon” - Events that occur to our mortal lives have been witnessed by the light of the pale moon. A poetry challenge to myself, inspired by the words of Robin of Robin's Nest.

Dragon Blogger – “Doggy Day Dream” - Whimsical poem about what dogs do when left home alone.

Jennifer M Scott – “Wicked Victory” - A surreal poem.

Jennifer M Scott – “At the Lake Haiku Series” - A series of haikus about swimming at the local lake.

Fiction

Romeo -“ Memories in the Shadows” - A short story about the past, the love one can recieve from a loving mother, a caring sister, and the onset of a terrible medical conditon- all linked together by a river flowing freely through an open field.

(WOOF participants should re-post all the links above by next Monday. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Presenting the finest of the writer’s blogs by the bloggers who write them. Highlighting the top posts as chosen by the June 26, 2009 WOOF Contest participants. Want in to join the next WOOF? The next contest ends July 3. Submit a link to your best writing post of the last 3 weeks using the form on this page. Participants, repost the winning link list within a week and you’re all set.

Other WOOF Contestants for 06/26/09

About Writing

Writing Nag – “How Else Could We Discover the Stars?” - What is story and how can you add the elements of good fiction to your writing. A short piece of fiction is discussed.

Poetry

Zorlone – “I am my father's son” - "This little tribute, to one of such great importance in your life, points out many things that you must have been taught from his word and deed. Such as the connection that you have to your ancestors, the responsibility that you feel towards upholding your family name, determination and education and perhaps you hint that life has made difficult the upholding of his ideals, yet he has persevered to be a great man and a great father." - Strawberry Girl

Romeo – “Memories of the Past” - A elderly man recalls the love of his youth, battling the ever-present loneliness that comes with age.

Dragon Blogger – “Rescue From The Witch” - Fantasy poem about hunters rescuing a girl.

Memories of the Past

2009-06-26T10:08:00.002-04:00

A mongrel walks politely
Through the warm summer streets
An echo of an older time
He sits and begins to eat-
He dreams of days long gone
A day once left for him
He sees the ancient photographs
Of the way things used to be.

And in the daze of morning
Beneath a cup of joe,
He sits silenty atop the mountain
Of aging dreams and snow.
A morning breathe of nicotene,
Strapped firmly to a chair
Sits and wonders patiently,
Why should he even care?
To breathe in this new world
Full of materialistic gold
The sons and daughters of the whole
Now just stories for the old.

Beneath the ancient sea,
Of a tempest on the coast,
He can feel the warm breeze whisper
Dreaming of the most
Precious thing hes ever seen
His angel from above
The one who once held him close
And showered him with love.

But now he sleeps alone,
A shadow of his past,
He sips his morning coffee,
Praying that his dreams will last.

Beneath the summer sweat,
That drips carelessly from his brow,
A single tear hides elegantly,
Pain and fear may never show.
To hide from futures bringings,
What may be just around the bend,
An echo of a simpler time,
Is clearly at its end.

Memories in the Shadows

2009-06-26T10:05:00.003-04:00

When I was young my mother would sing to me. she sang sweet and tender melodies, the same that play in my head even now. And every night she would kiss my forehead, wish me all the joy in the world, and turn me over to the night.

And as I laid there restlessly, dreaming of the perfect joy, I could hear my heart beating, pulsing for her love.Nothing in the world, could ever compare to the happiness and compassion my mother showed towards me.

From a very young age I had no father, just a mother and a little sister. Their love was all I needed to get me through.

Each day I would go to school, and each day I would return. And even though the days got worse and worse,I knew that somewhere was my mother and her love waiting for me back home.

There was a small wooden path behind our yard, and every day I would take a walk through the woods to find a quiet place to rest and think. I came upon this wide river one day, beautiful, bright green grass shadowed by brilliant enormous trees. (I realize today that the trees weren't so big, but back then they appeared monstrous compared to my small, young body)There was a long path of rocks creating a bridge across this small river, leading off to a place I have never seen before. It seems as if this bridge was made by man, yet so beautiful and elegant it almost seemed impossible that such a chaotic creature could create such splendor and beauty in nature's depths.

The water ran through the river like my thoughts through my head, always pushing forward, engulfing and over running the many rocks and hollow walls that bar the path ahead. I sit near the rocks, dipping my feet carefully in the cold, clear, water. I sit and dream, thinking of all the world I have ahead of me… all the fun times, the bad times, the lovers, the friends… all the things life brings you, from the beginning to the end.

I wonder if I'll ever have, a lover like my mother, and I wonder even more curiously, how could my father ever leave her behind?

She is so warm and caring, so beautiful and elegant, she never caused a fuss, and never ever yelled or cussed.And as I sit here now, thinking about my life back then- all the opportunities, that had come and gone all the dreams I had but lost… all the world was my oyster, and the pearl was taken from me.

For as I sat upon those rocks, dipping my feet in the cool spring waters, I heard a rustling of the leaves behind me. Itwas my little sister, carrying a small white letter and a frown upon her face. As she moved closer, I could see a small tear in her eyes… "I don’t know why I'm sad" she said, handing me the letter- "I cannot read as of yet, but something is the matter"And as I read it swiftly, my head clear of all those dreams… I saw the pale black letters, spelling out the words: " I regret to inform you, my good friend Denim, but it appears the tests came back positive, glaucoma at its worst, and I also regret to inform you Sir, that you will be completely blind within the year. My sincerest apologies, Dr. Bill Terezakis "
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its been five years since that day, and I sit alone now, my mother gone. My sister met a man, and has moved to another state. She calls once in a while, to see how things have been. But there's not much that I remember, as my memory grows weary.

The only memory I will never forget, the only thing I can see as clear as that clear blue day, is that river, the rocky bridge, and the brilliant green flora that surrounded it… the cool feel of my feet against the water, and the warm soft breeze against my face.

Once in awhile, an old friend of mine leads me down to the river, where we just sit and talk; our feet dangling in the water.

That is the only time, where I can feel at peace, since losing my sight, everything has been taken from me, all the beauty in the world is hidden in the shadows, but, once I step foot in that river, the world comes flowing back to me, all the vibrant colors and the perfectly laid rock bridge, it all comes back to me, and for a brief few hours, I can almost see again.

2009-04-14T09:04:00.000-04:00

WOOF Contest – Top Picks

6 Way 2nd Place TIE!

Poetry

Zorlone – “Passionate Blogger” - A tribute to the bloggers who have influenced my writing endeavors.

Alex McGaughan - “Late Fall; She Retorts” - A short free-verse poem about a young man and woman who are driven apart by one's romanticism and the other's inability to share it.

Jennifer M Scott – “Primordial Passion” - Written in a series of three cinquains about spring and the renewing of love or starting new love.

Romeo – “Another Rainy Day” - Short Poem for the one I've lost.

Dragon Blogger – “Aftershock” - Poem crafted from random words, inspired by the earthquake in Italy.

About Writing

Izzy Daniels - “Maximizing your writing Time: Start with the Outline” - I gave a brief description on how to write a short outline for ones writing.

Brought to you by PlotDog Press with the Writing Software: "Save the Cat Software and Book Review"

Presenting the finest of the writer’s blogs by the bloggers who write them. Highlighting the top posts as chosen by the April 10, 2009 WOOF Contest participants. Want in to join the next WOOF? The next contest ends April 17. Submit a link to your best writing post of the last 3 weeks using the form on this page. Participants, repost the winning link list within a week and you’re all set.

Other WOOF Contestants for 04/10/09

Poetry

Roy – “Seemingly An Ordinary Night” - A poem about finding a quick solution to one's burden...

Zorlone – “Summer Rain” - An attempt to capture the essence of one of nature's wonders using poetry as an instrument.

Oyen – “Death's POV” - If Death were a person he probably wouldn't be eager to end anyone's life.

Jennifer M Scott – “Cloudy Intuition” - The day starts nice but there is this feeling of something bad will happen which ruins the day.

Jennifer M Scott - “The Midnight Club” - Dedicated to everyone who works strange shifts especially the ones that crawl into the night and beyond about how it is nice out but better days are coming.

.

Dragon Blogger – “The Box” - A metaphor for someones life being contained inside a box.

Dragon Blogger – “Racing Home To You” - Poem about being stuck in traffic, eager to arrive home to the one you love.

Non-Fiction / Rant

Roy – “Blogging to live... even as I rant” - A rant about experiences (and frustrations) in trying to make a living by blogging...

Another Rainy Day

2009-04-10T08:17:00.001-04:00

My eyes are calling out for a new love
One to come and take the pain away
My heart is searching for a a new love
To save me from this reocurring rainy day.

Water splashes as we run through puddles
Hand in hand, we glide along, through it all
Across the grass and through the mud
A quick step, a light slip, and we fall.

Rolling around in the mud, lauging at passing cars-
Water running down your cheeks, I cant help but stare
And feel complete; within your eyes so pure-
They hold my heart so high, if only for a moment,
I begin to wonder why, why do you love me
Why are you here? What is it about me,
That keeps you staying near?

And then I remember, the way the curtain fell
And how you left me here all alone, living in this hell
And each and every morning, I awoke but felt alone-
I am cold and lonely, broken, pain streaming through my bones.

My eyes are weak, my stare is strong, together they fight,
To keep me moving on, but as I see you standing there
As I watch him playing with what was once My hair-
I realize that I've lost it all, though I may never know why,
And so all I can do now, is sit alone and stare,
Out that pale white window, that hides me from the rain.

WOOF CONTEST 2-6-09

2009-02-10T06:57:00.001-05:00

WOOF Contest – Top Picks

Poetry

Margaret Norkett - “A treatise on friendship” - A poem about a special friendships.

Dragon Blogger - “Winter Childs Play” - Poem based on Children Playing in Winter Playground, crafted from 13 random words.

Romeo - “A Mirror's Dream” - i am the numbness in your fingers

Web-Betty - “The fey little man” - Another poem crafted using uncommon words.

Fiction

Jennifer M Scott - “Human Footprints” - The story takes place in the future where humans are inferior to cyborgs. A cyborg is sent to kill a human woman who runs an agency made to connect humans.

Brought to you by PlotDog Press with the Serial Suspense Screenplay "Intevention"

(WOOF participants should re-post all the links above by next Monday. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Presenting the finest of the writer’s blogs by the bloggers who write them. Highlighting the top 5 posts as chosen by the February 6, 2009 WOOF Contest participants. Want in to join the next WOOF? The next contest ends February 13. Submit a link to your best writing post of the last 3 weeks using the form at the bottom of this page. Participants, repost the winning link list within a week and you’re all set.

Other WOOF Contestants for 02/06/09

Fiction

Clayrn Darrow - “What Florence told me That Night” - This is a portion of a short story I started on my blog.

Poetry

Dragon Blogger - “Heart Of A Hero” - Poem about someone having the heart of a hero and coming to a girl's rescue.

Kayla - “Behind Her Eyes” - A poem about regret and despair.

Jennifer M Scott - “Spring Refreshment” - The desire for new love.

Jennifer M Scott - “Velvet Apprehension” - I don't know why I write poems I don't what its about maybe you can figure it out.

Jennifer M Scott - “To My Valentine” - A love poem written in acrostic using the word valentine.

A Mirror's Dream

2009-02-03T07:48:00.001-05:00

i am the numbness in your fingers
that helps you hide your heart-
and every second lingers
and burns when were apart.

take a look in the mirror
and let me know what you see
is it anything,
like you expected it to be?
is it like all your hopes?
your dreams? your memories?
locked eyes with a stranger
every move is the same.

self mutilation
chronic inebriation
what a combination
to suffocate in a dream
that once was full of love
we fit together,
like a hand inside a glove-
but when push comes to shove
will i still be the one
that you so devoutly love?

to save myself from hell,
this lovely wishing well-
throw a penny, a dime, a dollar
it doesnt matter
What the price is,
you will pay it with your life
but your dreams will come true
in that morning hue you hold
staring in the mirror
At the stranger staring
Right back at you.

Woof Contest Top 5 Picks 10/2008

2008-10-28T06:12:00.000-04:00

WOOF Contest – Top 5 Picks:

Poetry

Romeo - “The Natural World” - A short poem about nature and its beauty.

Jennifer M Scott - “Seeking Sun” - An avant garde poem about fall.

About Words / Writing

Kimota (Jonathan Crossfield) - “Time, Productivity and the Writer” - A look at how writing isn't necessarily as quick to produce as many outsiders believe. Taking three hours to produce 100 words might seem odd, but is perfectly legitimate to produce quality copy.

Fiction

Ferox - “Is that a Dragon?” - Things must be observed to exist. Otherwise, they can be anything.

~willow~ - “it's all a matter of perspective...” - ...where a young girl knocks a new perspective into an otherwise downcast boy on a bright autumn day...

Brought to you by PlotDog Press with the Serial Suspense "Intervention"

(WOOF participants should re-post all the links above by next Monday. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Presenting the finest of the writer’s blogs by the bloggers who write them. Highlighting the top 5 posts as chosen by the October 24, 2008 WOOF Contest participants. Want in to join the next WOOF? The next contest ends October 31. Submit a link to your best writing post of the last 2 weeks using the form at the bottom of this page. Participants, repost the winning link list within a week and you’re all set.

Other WOOF Contestants for 10/24/08

Poetry

Chungyen Chang - “last night” - Memories from a survivor.

Mary Graziano - “Our Little Game” - My post is about child abuse that I went through growing up.

Penelope Anne Bartotto - “Equality” - An Acrostic poem on equality in the world today.

Dragon Blogger - “Cherish” - Appreciate the ones you love.

Dragon Blogger - “Breaking the Mold” - About a woman so perfect.

Dragon Blogger - “The Fork” - Playful poem about a simple dining fork.

Dragon Blogger - “The Chef - Part 1” - Poem written for my wife while she was in Culinary School.

exquisite corpse - “Halloween Magick” - A collabrative poem about Halloween.

About Words / Writing

Amritbir Kaur - “Brevity is the Soul of Wit” - This post is about the origin of the phrase 'Brevity is the soul of wit', the change in its meaning over the years and its implication. Read and enjoy!

Writing Nag - “Why I'll Continue to Journal” - How journaling can benefit your daily writing habit. Includes a "found" poem on journaling.

Non-Fiction /Philosophy / Essay

Harneet Singh - “Have We Changed?” - We, as human beings are losing our humane qualities and moving backwards to being animals again. Let us analyse the situation a bit.

Justin Germino - “Why Does Life Have To Be So Hard” - Thoughts, Insights and Belief in Friendship.

Jennifer M Scott - “Edge of Equality” - A 100 word essay written for the 100 word challenge about equality and the need for war

Rough Draft - Colorblind Crayons

2008-10-23T12:45:00.002-04:00

A twisted web of loneliness
Broken from old poems-
A little boy sits alone:
Drawing with his crayons-

He draws with black,
Red and dark, mysterious
Looking paintings of dead men-
All covered in strange clothing
A reflection of self loathing-
Their eyes are bright and wonderous
A brilliant aura of their souls,
With each and every crawling figure
Each boy loses and begins to fall.

The crayon snaps, mid stroke
And in the wax the boy finds hope
To see the smearing red and black
Praying for the patience
That his parents fully lack-
He sits and ponders to himself
Waiting for the hour,
When his parents lonely calling
Will take him for his shower.

Whipping off his sins
With the colors of the rainbow
They sit and dazzle in the light
And cover sorrow 'morrows-

Its time for bed,
They rub his head-
But beneath his pillow lies,
A new notepad
With colour crayons
To keep his flow alive.

All night dreaming
Drawing, seeing-
visions flying
through his head,
burning, aching,
Upon his bed-

He lay there in
his violent slumber;
fighting off the painful hunger
"draw until you draw no more
and you shall seal the final score."

The End

2008-10-17T10:07:00.001-04:00

Finally, I’ve found a window, leading out to the morning light. The sunlight shining through blinds me, my eyes squinting in the beautiful mixture of light and dark, and that perplexing line of balance where they meet. The window for which I reached held only broken pieces of glass and a ruined frame.

Peering out through the window, I could see an open field, once green but now filled with charred ruins and ash. The trees, plants, even birds, are all gone, leveled in catastrophe.

Attempting to stand, I felt the wounding blast of fire run through my legs and up my back; I fall. I catch my fall with my hands, but not without consequence. The place in which my hand landed left an open wound from an old rusty nail. No worry of tetanus now, just the soothing pain of transference, as now my leg feels numb balanced by the rust stained hole across my palm.

My body groans as I crawl along the cold wooden boards that make up this rackety excuse for a floor- splinters piercing through my flesh one after another as I pull across the ground to the window. I can see the sun shining through, the bright beautiful morning just inches from my reach- and yet it feels as if it could take a life time to reach my destination.

Barely able to hold myself up, I softly peer over the top of the window sill, my legs dangling like tree branches beneath me. My eyes burn once more as the light reaches my dark enshrouded eyes.

Above me, I notice a small rope dangling ever so loosely over my head, and so, I reach for it. A slight tug, and yes, the rope is secure enough to hold me. I pull with all my might upon the rope, burning my hands with the heated friction as I pull strenuously to lift myself high enough to get a good view outside.

Another painful tug and; I made it, my legs bent like wooden posts keeping me afloat, I can finally see clearly. Looking about, I notice small bits of dust floating slowly to the ground. Cautiously, I look up, only to be blinded by a giant cloud of Black.

And then, just as quickly as it came, it was gone. And I felt nothing.

Nature's Way

2008-10-16T06:44:00.002-04:00

The world outside my window,
lost within the green-leafed trees,
hidden behind the glowy sunlight-
the ground covered in thick moss weeds.

Nature's way, left unkept
seems only natural, to eyes unslept-
to be just as the butterfly-
to learn to ride and fly so high,
to live amonst the rainy 'soon
and the howl of the midnight moon.

to join the absolute,
the golden beauty of nature's jewels:
the sun, the sky, the ocean too
is all the beauty i can offer you-
but take my hand and join my stand
we can run a muck forever-
never to be discovered by the
cruel roots of man,
never to deal with humility, ever again.

I am one, with god above,
the angels touch-
and natures love.
Forever to shine in warm sunlight,
forever to grace this place,
with the beautiful face-
that you and I can trace:
back to our love
that will forever inherit
this paradise.

The Prince's Values

2008-10-16T06:43:00.000-04:00

.
"Welcome to the new world,"
Said the Prince to the slave girl-
"This time, is my time,
Which is now your time-
And so our time is my time,
And time is a lie.”

The girl looked confused
But knew she was to be used,
She was born the poorer,
The prince the richer,
But what did he do,
That was any different
Then you?
“Its all about luck,”
Said the girl to the buck,
Washing, carefully washing,
The different animals
In the princes inhabitable lawn.

“The cards are dealt
And you deal with what you get,
And so I slave away,
Washing away the dirt grims
From this possessed criminal-
A buck that once killed a man,
But he was but a peasant,
And so no one thought the wiser-”

The prince had a princess,
One that adored him,
But he was to caught up in,
The slave that worked for him-
It was against the rules, and
All those petty fools
Would laugh him out of crown
If they ever found his heart
To be laying in the dirt
With this measly peasant girl-
So he had no choice
But to keep his voice
A silent type of admiration
With her hopes in determination
Neither new the other felt-
To see the other, their hearts would melt-

But one day they came together,
There hands touched gently
One then the other,
And in the light, it looked so right-
It was a secret to be kept,
And never swept away-
Until that fateful day,
When slave girl came a cold,
But he could not soothe or hold-
With out worry of his crown.

What is one to do?
Choose the life or the love?
What would one do…
A dieing girl, or richfilled world-
To choose your heart,
Or to choose your mind-
Which do you think
Is more divine?

But in the end, the girl found friends
Within the good prince’s doctors
And although it shocked her-
They found her a cure,
That was sure to lure-
The prince back into her hands.

With her health restored,
They made the plot-
Without a word, the words were shot-
And when the royal gaurds came
To take them all away
I saw the prince sit from atop his throne
And gently whisper to his maid
“Today, is the saddest day,
That has ever been made by man or god.”
To see a grown man sob,
Is the saddest thing, i’ve ever seen,
But to this day, its true to say,
He has never loved another
In the same simple way.

Broken Peices of a Broken Bo

2008-10-10T13:38:00.000-04:00

My indecisions run my confusion-
As I follow each call on the morning dairy,
I make the wrong decisions
And fall in correct inperfections,
Dieing to make the sun fall on me:
Just to end all this misery,
That engulfs my mind
With scentless indulgences
That run a muck in my eyes-
The ideas I run and feel inside
Cant help but ruin my life.

Angels call me out-
Break me apart,
Into nothing but a heart
The blood runs through my veins
And each pulse drives my eyes
To follow the repetitive rain
And keep my love intact-
By breaking me into pieces
Until the world ceases
And the angels dream-
They dream of someone else.

The broken little dreams
Of all the children seems
To cut into me,
Like some lost imagination
And break apart, my heart-
I can't seem to find,
The place I am looking for
It just seems like,
Its all worth dieing for-
But when the sun rises
And dies a night later,
The midnight moonlight
Brightens my senses,
And gives me reason
To find the treason-
That has been placed
Upon my fragile heart
Until it all becomes clear-
And I fall… and I fall apart.

Woof Contest Winnters 10/3

2008-10-07T06:25:00.000-04:00

WOOF Contest – Top Picks:

Fiction/Short Story/Serial Fiction/One Act Play

Romeo - “A Boy of Doubt” - A short story about a boy trying to come to terms with himself, and love.

Jennifer M Scott - “Goodbye Baby” - A young woman tells her boyfriend she is pregnant, is he happy?

Henry Petrie - “Social Networking” - A second-person account of killing time by trying to meet people over social networking sites.

Poetry

Penelope Anne Bartotto - “The Moral” - 100 words in haiku format on good versus evil.

Sanjay Chhabria - “Let me Love” - Ever fell in love; had a crush or engaged in any kind of infatuation... If yes, then this is a must read.

Brought to you by PlotDog Press with the Serial Thriller "Dead Play"

(WOOF participants should re-post all the links above by next Monday. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Presenting the finest of the writer’s blogs by the bloggers who write them. Highlighting the top 5 posts as chosen by the October 3, 2008 WOOF Contest participants. Want in to join the next WOOF? The next contest ends October 10. Submit a link to your best writing post of the last 2 weeks using the form at the bottom of this page. Participants, repost the winning link list within a week and you’re all set.

Journey for Compassion

2008-10-06T11:08:00.002-04:00

a new day-
a new beginning
a golden ray of sunlight
seems a bit decieving-
each ray of hope,
each sign of sighing;
brightens up the day,
it brightens down your face-
saves you from your innocence:
and that cold, bitter taste.

if for but a moment in time,
i could feel your heart beat-
i could feel your warm smile
and the tangle of our feet-
if but for a moment,
the world seemed to rise
but then without a whisper
it all fell to its demise.

tomorrow is golden,
today is the past-
let us dream a new beginning
and hope it always lasts.
the future holds open arms
full of love and compassion
a dream away from painful harm-
and a love within heated passion.

there is a pathway to love,
but no one knows where,
there is a brick built bridge,
leading me to the one i adore-
but no one knows for sure,
if i will land with both my feet,
firmly planted to the ground.

A Letter to Juliet-

2008-10-02T06:49:00.001-04:00

lost within the vibrant echo
of the humming of your voice,
the sweet and tender melody-
drifting off, my mind is lost.

my eyes begin to dim
my heart begins to race
all that matters now,
is the smile on your face.

your heart can save my mind,
and your lips can save my life,
just one single kiss,
to save me from this knife-

Juliet, where is my Juliet?
invading my dreams,
heartstruck by beauty,
an angel from the sky:
i find myself lost:
within your loving eyes.

My Juliet, be my Juliet,
be my sky and dreams
and stars and sunbeams
be everything that means
anything it seems,
as long as you smile
as we kiss all the while.

keep my heart steady
my mind is racing off
but still my heart is sitting
turning itself off,
waiting for your love
to jumpstart my own
so i can finally feel
everything true and real,
and all the love in the world
is left for my girl:
Juliet.

Frozen Winter Breeze

2008-09-29T09:32:00.001-04:00

A frozen winter morning,
My heart is frozen still-
Once warm and beating,
Now cold and seeping,
Sinking deeper in my soul.

One day brings another,
The sun rises once again,
Brings a little warmth to me in the end-
And even though I feel its heat
My feet are still frozen,
And my arms are stuck to the seat-
I may never move again,
Never to feel free again-
Lost within the end of it all
Lost within the freezing breeze
That tremours through my soul,
Calling out for you-
But you've gone deaf,
And may never hear my call-

The world is blind to sadness
And full of deep remorse
Every girl smiles a fake smile
And every boy talks awhile-
Saying this and that and how are you
But in the end its just to do-
A simple little sentence to warm
My fragile heart-
Just a little voice to keep my soul afloat-
A dream within a dream,
A voice within my mind-
I can dream of all the times
When I once felt that maybe,
Maybe, there was a chance
But that’s all gone-
And im alone at last.

Empty Morning Wish

2008-09-29T06:34:00.000-04:00

my heart is full of empty spaces
lonely graces, unknown faces-
sinking deeper, falling fast-
my life is over, dead at last.

i saw the morning sunrise
glisten in your eyes
but now theyre full of flies
and i cant help but cry.
your beauty, your grace-
left outside this place,
this lonely sanctuary
is the tomb of all thats merry.

once upon a time,
i used to always smile
but now i've lost the will
its my happiness you kill.

i am a dreamer, without a heart,
a famous actor, without a part-
i am a writer, without a pen,
a lover, without a women.

i ask the morning graces
why put pain in all their faces?
why turn the world upside down
and give the world a frown?
happiness has seeped away
looking for a better day
but those days are long away
please come back, come and stay.

my heart is full of empty spaces,
lonely graces, unknown places-
in the end the world falls still
living in a love that kills.

A Boy of Doubt

2008-09-26T07:13:00.001-04:00

Ping.
Silence.
That is the sound of solitude, of loneliness. The razor fell out of my hands like butter smeared between my fingers. I grab my arm with the other, trying to control the violent shaking that will not cease.

The endless torment of being alone engulfs your mind. It changes you. It splits you. That is how Manic came to be. Manic, you see, is the nickname I give to my other personality. His name suits him, as his personality consists of sanity, suicide, and manic depression. He is my ultimate undoing and my Achilles’ heel.

She joined my life soon after. Her nails sharp like razor blades, her hair red as blood. Her silver dress has a silver belt that connects the top and bottom. Her beauty keeps me warm; especially when Manic comes to visit.
The weary mind of confusion is easily taken in by the constant murmuring of pain.

I spend my time alone in my room, with nothing but myself to be with. In the corner of the room sits my girl in that silver dress, silent and invisible to all eyes but mine. Every passing moment is another moment of loneliness… a constant reminder of who I am.

I can hear the cars whizzing by, the sound of a dog barking and the clicking of new shoes against the pavement outside. I am in my own little world, a secret place where no one else can enter. Only by breaking my link to my world can the girl in the silver dress truly appear. Manic rips me from my happiness at every turn, his strength much greater then my distraught will to go on.

I can feel the silence in my heart, the sound of nothingness echoes through my body and out my fear dried mouth. Its not that I want to stay this way, its just I have nothing left. It keeps me warm, it keeps me safe. Her silver dress shines in my eyes as she glides across my arm. Another shitty day, an even shittier place.
Metaphoric lingo keeps me safe from the outside world. It’s not worth the time of the “normal” person to understand the Chronic’s jargon. Learning and understanding is the enemy of the common person. No time to waste on others, no time for anything but themselves.

So I sit alone, misunderstood and lonesome, with nothing but a beautiful girl in a silver dress to keep me company.

She sits on my desk, secluded from everything else, my life spent on nothing but staying alive. I coasted through High School, nothing hard to do there. Now in college the toll of my plague begins to take its toll; the truth of absolute loneliness engulfs me in a fiery mist of darkness and smoke as everyone else skips hand in hand. Dragging me out of my world to show me how truly ungrateful the world is to have such abilities and emotions in their lives. Love is a gift, one that they seem to take advantage of.

I can only wish, as my wish do, to be just like my wishes; and wish to come true: words written across my journal, across my walls and through my head. My wishes are so long, so complex and so extraneous that I doubt I will ever fulfill them. Happiness is a wish that seems so far from me that I can’t help but fall part.
A dark shadow follows me through my train of thoughts… an unknown entity calls me and leads me where I want to go. I find myself walking through the cafeteria at my high school… curious of why I even bother. From across the cafeteria I can see the shimmer of a light. More curious, I follow the seemingly cleared pathway leading to your feet. And so my story continues…

I met you at school, we ate lunch together. You barely even noticed my existence. On the other hand, I barely even accept it. I can see the glow in your eyes and the humble wisdom in your heart. You are intelligent, beautiful, and all the words that would ever describe an angel from above.

If heaven does exist, you will be the one to make all others jealous. I don’t know why I even bother; I see that look in your eyes, and that yearning in everyone else’s. Everyone wants to be with you… everyone wants to be happy. I could see myself with you, your hand wrapped around mine, in bliss.

Someone like you could help me win; someone like you could help me defeat what I’ve been fighting so hard against: absolute destruction. My soul pleads for more, to see you and hear you and feel you.
Every second with you is like a million pounds of pressure lifted off my fragile back. My blood grows warm and my heart is fuller of life. Time spent with you, is time spent healing. Manic is my enemy, and we are at war. His weapon? The girl in the silver dress. My weapon? Well, I don’t really have one; but still I fight back in the hopes that you might join my cause and be mine.

Even my thoughts of loneliness and depression are swept away by the thought of you in my arms. To fall asleep next to such a beautiful creature would be to touch the moon with my fingers, nearly impossible, but, through the determination and the hope of my heart, I can do it.

I talked to you, and you hugged me. It was amazing. It stopped me from doing a lot of things that I would have later regretted. Your simple touch is enough to keep me from the loneliness of my silver dressed woman. I can still feel your arms wrap around me and protect me, your warmth keeps me warm even as I take this cold journey home. I showed you my life, the work that keeps me running, the most personal thing I have ever written.
Only two others have ever read what I’ve shown you. You liked it, you told me so; you even quoted me in your AIM profile. I feel special. I feel different.

Every day that passes by gets better and better as I see you walk in your moonwalk like state, your hair flowing in the wind. We walk into your room together, and just sit and talk. We talk and talk and talk, spilling everything I’ve ever seen felt and heard onto your lap like a rusty old tin can. You can throw it way, or polish it up. You chose the latter, and that makes me euphoric. I get up to leave, and you walk up to me, a smile on your face. I stare into the beauty of your eyes, curious, hopeful. I can feel your breathe on my neck. Slowly… without a sound or solid expression… I feel your head moving towards mine; our lips touch. A spark of electricity flies between us as we connect.

Amazing. I didn’t even see it coming, but I’m so glad that it did.
Instantly, Manic dies in a fiery accident. The heat and passion of love corrupted and destroyed him. The feeling of acceptance and love gives me the strength to send the razor in the corner of my room out the window, never to bother me or shine in my eyes again. And with it, Manic is finally gone for good. As my dreams have wished and prayed; I am finally free from my chronic plague, my chronic depression.
And all I can say is: “Thank You.”

Journals of a Broken Hand

2008-09-26T06:56:00.000-04:00

Today was the strangest day of my life. The colours whizzed past my eyes like a boy lost on the side of a highway. Bursts of red and green, mixed with the flashing of headlights… zooming across my face, breaking my concentration every time I remembered how to think.

I have found it impossible to accumulate broken dreams, if I never have any to begin with. You cannot break what does not exist, and so my spirit shall never be broken. I travel down through my mind… lost between the cars and the trucks, the honking and the passing. Each car leaving with every exit, only to be replaced four fold, with cars flying up the on ramps to my brain.

I travel till I come to my eyes… fixated on a beautiful face, fixated on a face of purity and loyalty. My eyes grow and squint, trying to find the perfect focus for such a wonder as her face. If only I could feel my heart… if only I could feel the beat or the pulse of my blood through my body, if only I could feel something… anything.
But I lie here, lifeless and alone… with nothing but the constant murmur of pain to keep my sanity in check.
And so my eyes stare, and my brain thinks, and the world spins around… what a strange feeling this is, to be broken in a fixed up world.

And so I see myself, sitting here, alone and unnoticed…. ostracized from the world. Through the darkness, I can still see her face, placed within the back of my head… hidden but still visible, just enough to keep me alive. The blood flows through me, but I cannot feel it… my bones are broken, but I cannot see it. And so I lay here, in the absolute, waiting for the sincerity of forgiveness… of love… or death.

I have lived the life of a bird with broken wings; the ability to do just what I was made for has been taken away. All my life, I have been broken, I have been… different. All my life, I could not fly. All I could ever do is sit, and watch as the world spins around me in the sky… floating hundreds of feet above me, as I lie in nothingness. Smeared with dirt and ash, my eyes burn, a single tear of solitude falls to my hand, and I stare as the droplet runs down the side of my hand to the ground. The wind picks up, and the world flies away, leaving me here, covered in shit.

Pieces of Time

2008-09-26T06:45:00.000-04:00

My memories encompass my mind, my dreams, my life. Every second ticks by one after another, never ending- every moment new and fresh; but gone before you even have time to grasp it. Our lives are full of memories; full of thoughts, ideas, all these different things that make us who we are. Without them, we would be nothing.
Everyday I wake up, every day I go to sleep(most of the time), and every day I dream of moments past, pieces of the time i shared with all the different people that have helped to mold me to who I am today.
I have had good relationships, bad relationships; I've made friends and foes; but through it all I would never give up a second or a memory, not a single one.
My life is a dreamboat of experiences and moments; each moment leading up to the next - each moment followed by another, until we grow to the final moment of our lives; the final breath, the final striking moment of our lives before it is all over, and what happens next? We may never know.
We have been molded, created, shaped; maybe even prepared - just to live long enough to experience the final blow of our lives.
I wish that we could all see our own funerals; just to see if we are truly missed or if anyone even bothers to show. Each piece of time leads to the next, a never ending train; connected at the hip... following this ongoing track until all the rails become rust and fade away, and we derail.

One Last Time-

2008-09-26T06:43:00.000-04:00

I knew what I had done as soon as the door closed. A single tear fell from my eye as I reached into my pocket to pull out a small razor blade; just about the size of your thumb. As I smeared the razor between my fingers, making sure not to remove any of the existing blood; I could feel my heart finally begin to regulate.
Then I heard a creek come from down the stairs, it sounded like the front door opened. I quickly ran into the bathroom to grab a few peices of toilet paper to lay across my arm to keep any drip from falling down.
"Denim! Are you home? It's Dad." I could hear my Dad yelling from down below, as he took off his shoes. "If your here, come down, I want to talk to you."
"One minute! Just putting on a new shirt." Well I was putting on a new shirt, but that was only because the old one was covered in a red crust that I could not possibly hide.
And so I calmly went down the stairs, my hands and arms behind my back, my arm quivering from the friction of cloth against my newly made wounds.
"Are you feeling OK?" My dad inquired, curious of my random squirms.
"Oh, just fine, I replied" Unsure of how to answer.
"You dont look so well. Maybe I'm just tired."
"I'm sure thats it, Dad."
"Well, anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your grandmother went into the hospital, grandpa found her at 4am this morning of the ground convulsing. I guess she overdosed on Ambient or something. She hasn't woken up yet."
I stood in shock, maybe even in fear, at the news that was presented before me. I could barely withstand hearing those words again, no... not again.
"Hey Denim, whats that on your arm? Are you bleeding?"
"Oh, that" I shivered in pain, "Its nothing. Just a little cut I guess."
"We'll let me see it, I want to make sure its not infected before you put a bandaid on it."
"Oh, no, thats OK Dad, thanks anyway."
"No, please, I just want to make sure your cut wont get infected."
He took a quick jab for my arm, he missed the sleeve but rubbed hard against my wounds.
"Ouch!" I couldnt help but yell.
"Whats that? Denim! Let me see your arm right now!."
I could feel my eyes holding back a single tear as I slowly raised my sleeve to reveal the numerous cuts and slashed across my fore arm.
"Denim... explain yourself."
"I... I... I..." I didn't know what to say.
"Well... I..." Words just couldn't escape my mouth.
Finally I broke down into a waterfall of salty tears, collapsing into my fathers arms.
"I..." Sniffles, "I just couldnt stop. One, and then another, and then another... it made me feel... alive."
I can't even begin to fathom the intensity of what I said.
"Well... I..." My father was hesitant, but proceeded to speak anyway, "Is this because of grandma?"
"Well... some of it. SOme of it is because of school, and work, and... just life."
"I've been doing it for a few years now; every time I just can't figure something out; or I feel like complete shit. I do it, and I feel better... so much better."
A saw then something I never thought I would ever see in my entire life. It was like the entire spectrum of light, all condensed to the width of my father's wide eyes.
And then, without a whisper or a word, my father stood up, took a step back, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Your mother will be wondering where I am, so I better get back to the hospital to see your grandmother. If your up for it... you can come later if you like."
I just stood there, mentally deconstructed and naked in front of my father; until finally I had to speak.
"OK... I guess I'll see you later." I squeezed out my tight, exausted throat as I begged myself not to burst into tears again.
"Alright, Well... Bye."
My father turned around, walked out the door, and shut it carelessly behind him.
"Well... there's only one thing left for me here." I whispered to myself.
And so I walked back up the stairs, an evil grin upon my face, and made my way to the door that I had just recently closed; as if just to gaze upon the luminous letters painted across the door:

"And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!"

And so I opened the gateway, and looking deep into the darkness, I saw a single shimmering light... my eyes fixated upon it... I walked to it, entranced by its singular beauty.

And now, laying across this god forsaken floor, I find myself broken... frayed, alone. But not for long; for soon I will be with everything I could ever want to be.
And so I enter into the abyss... the lifeless progression of nothingness that no one could ever possibly imagine.

And into the shadow my soul shall lay,
Silently followed by Deaths cruel way-
his way I follow, for a better tomorrow,
to put a final end, to this bitter, bitter day.